I am new to this and placed my profile in May 2009, on a site and indicated that I am 'just looking' - a man responded and was interested, but I told him that I do not fall into his category of 'looking for a long-term relationship'. We met for tea - I had seen photographs of him, but he had not seen me - I have to admit he is very handsome and sensuous and we had had a week-long email 'thing' going on and he was both intrigued and interested in the days leading up to the tea 'date'. We had a fantastic back and forth bantering on the email,and it was fun ... but this man is a gigolo - he outrightly asked me to decide when we would become lovers (he told me he was sleeping with four other women ...he also, if he had his way, was ready to sleep with me right there and then, regardless if it was a public place! I came away thinking that his world and mine would not mix well and his parting words were, "I'll call you!", which he never did. I deleted all his emails and his phone number (you know how I would have been tempted to call...) Two weeks went by and he emailed me:I took three days to respond in a very pedestrian way ... he now emails me information on exhibits (he is an artist) and I also forward him the same information when I come across any. It seems we have an unwritten agreement that we are now friends. This past week, I turned 58 and on the eve of my birthday, I was on email contact again, with someone online and he asked when my birthday is and I told him and he took me out to dinner that same day: he said he is 5'7", Lord, the man is just as short as I am 5'4" and I am "allergic" to short men: the nicest thing he did was to order a slice of cake and the waitress brought it along with a candle and she started singing, and the whole place chimed in ...BUT his motive was (you know where I am going with this ...) he wanted to sleep with me and the mistake I made was to allow him to walk me into the building ... he came into my apartment and started kissing me and next he wanted 'the cookie' - he was so persistent and I had to raise my voice and say, "I think you need to go home now!" He was pouting and I thought, 'I could care less' ... NEVER heard from him again!!! Oh, he is 53 and I have always had a rule not to date younger men - he was very polite and attentive, but he had an ulterior motive! So, we live and learn and we have to be mindful and vigilant all the time. As for the gigolo, like I said, he now emails me and one has just come in from him, inviting me to an opening of an exhibit in the city AND if I decide to go, I am taking myself there and bringing myself home - ALONE! Ladies and my sisters, please look after yourselves. Peace, Nikki58 and looking good!
Mar 27, 2009 Rating
commitment by: Anonymous
I only talked on the phone and I really got liked his personality he live 1500 miles away but he would call me everyday and sometimes twice a day and he would say I am coming to see you on a plane I can't explain this but I really got to like this guy I never had anything like this happen to me before we never met.He would tell where he was going for the day either bowling or to golfcourse or sports games we both was about the same age he was married for27years we did exchange pictures and he did have them on the internet but the pictures he had on the internet was younger than the age he is now. He sent me a picture but it didn't look like him and I told him so but he swore it was his picture This man was charming polite was involved in organizations so he said but I told him I was moving on because he wasn't trying to commit I really think he was afraid to commit because of his divorce and being married for 27years. I think he was trying to be sure he had the right person but how would he know this if he did't meet the person. I only told him once that I did'tlike the way he was treating me he would say he would call and would not and sometimes he would thats when I said it was time for me to move on I also asked him did he want to persue this relationship and he said yes then he stated i was to suspicious and not trustworhthy toward him I think maybe his wife had told him she did't like the way he was treating her but I meant sayinghewas going to call and didn't on several occasions and not commiting to the relationship because 3months is a long time to not make some plans to meet.
Mar 27, 2009 Rating
Dating on the Internet- My response by: Michelle
Hello Blue,
WHOA! As an owner of a dating site (and this one), I feel quite bad about your experience. However, there are other issues at play in this scenario. So, let?s start at the top.
You say, you meet a man online and talked with him for 3 months by phone- daily. You also stated you got ?very involved.? Exactly how involved could you be if all you are doing is talking on the phone?
The reasons listed for WHY you got so involved include his being active in sports and being very devoted to his child. That is great but certainly not enough to keep a phone relationship going for 3 months.
What reasons did he give you for NEVER wanting to actually meet you? Did you live in different parts of the country- different countries, what exactly?
You stated you had a relationship - Really? You had a friend who you talked to on the phone- that is all that you have presented. There could be no ?breaking up?- this does not fit the criteria for an intimate relationship.
Most men are RUSHING to get to meet you. They want to know if you really look like that and what kind of physical attraction is present for them. That accounts for about 95% of the men on the planet.
If he was indeed playing games, what did HE get out of it? Just a question.
Programming your mind- you must be kidding me. This is someone you DO NOT KNOW! Before you ?look? for another relationship- take a few minutes to assess what you are really searching for. What kind of man are you seeking? Do you yourself possess any of these qualities. How comfortable are you with YOU?
Just some food for thought. Thanks for sharing your warning.
Much love,
Michelle
